Monthly Archives: January 2013

Steaming Hot Chocolate Jokes

Humor:  Sometimes we regard humor with much the same eagle eyed analysis as we do porn.  We can’t define it, but we know it when we see it.

During the CES in Las Vegas my husband’s company scheudledd a client dinner  at Roy’s, a famous hawaiian fusion restaurant.  That day, over lunch, the one of the wives in our group waxed poetic over the excellent food at Roy’s and specifically over their  signature dessert,  Roy’s Melting Hot Chocolate  Souffle

Oh, I said, a volcano cake.

The beautiful and the butts

The beautiful and the butts

NO!   Rebecca insisted, it is not a volcano cake, it’s this special, never have been experienced, fablulous  dessert, that you will die for, just die for.  In fact, she continued her lecture,  if you fail to order the Melting Hot Chocolate Souffle toinght, you will regret it for the rest of your days.

The afternoon conversation continued along these lines until I promised, promised to order Roy’s Melting Hot Chocolate  Souffle   that night.

A dominat characteristic of American humor is exaggeration and hypberbole.  We take something small and escallate it far and above any hope of realisim or common sense. We exaggerate to justifiy bad decisions like during the gold rush men would write home claiming they could just pick up nuggets off the street, silver glittered on the ground, and it it possible to harpoon a whale the size of a small country.

In due time, we enjoyed dinner at Roys.  I dutifully ordered the souflee and since  No ONE should be left berfret of this amazing dessert experinece of a life time, I ordered three, so we all could share in this transformative experience.

The souflee arrives,  I dig in my spoon.

And it’s a very nice, chocolatly dessert.

But I was not changed.

Rebecca, on the other hand, was transformed, she loved the dessert, she reveled in the dessert, she made sure we all knew that this was an amazing experience, “The best dessert ever.”

As clever people, we just  agree with her –  this is really the most amazing dessert!  So chocolaty!  So marvelous!     I don’t know how they do it!

Often the American  joke is a towering build up of Jenga heights, and then suddenly,  the lowest block is deftly removed and the whole tower tumbles to the floor.

Rebecca’s husband sets down his spoon, pats his mouth with his napkin and says,

” I don’t know honey, couldn’t you just microwave a Ding Dong?”

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Writers Talk to Strangers

Workers were changing the  atrium of the Bellagio from a winter theme to Lunar New Year them.  In the center  of the room stood a impressive tree, the leaves were enormous coins with square cut out centers.  A money tree for good luck.  I angled my phone and snapped a couple of photos.IMG_2945

The  man next to me was also photographing the tree.

“Like  the tree?”  he asked.

“Oh yes, the tree is marvelous.” I enthused.

“Thank you.” He replied.  “My company made it.”

Not only that, the president of the company  joined in the conversation and by the time my husband returned   from the men’s room the three of us were deep in conversation.

I learned all sorts of interesting things about creating artificial trees,  who purchases them (hospitals and hotels), how the trees are lifted into place and the two men were delightful.

My husband just gave me that look: I leave you in the lobby for five minutes and you manage to make new friends.

95% of the world is very interesting.  Talk to strangers, exchange business cards. All that weird, interesting stuff feeds articles, blogs and novels.  You may even find the inspiration for your next project.

I found a post for my blog as well as a newsletter article, all because my husband needed to use the restroom.  Thanks honey.

Money tree

Almost finished!

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Accidental Affair: Leslie McKelvey

Accidental Affair: Leslie McKelvey: 9781936556441: Amazon.com: Books.

One our show this week, writer Leslie McKelvey gave Newbie Writers a couple of pieces of advice:

There is a huge market for Gay and Lesbian romance novels.

Also S&M and Paranormal romance.

She also recommends that new writers persevere   she began writing in her early 20s but did not publish until her mid-forties, so keep trying and keep sending in manuscripts to publishers.

And revise, revise, revise. . .

It can happen for you, just hang in there!

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When what you say isn’t exactly what you mean

 

We get confused, the more information in our heads the more likely we are to conflate experiences and material. And the greater the opportunity for mis-labeling.

In a current article by Allan Ulrich in the SF Chronicle’s Pink section, he quotes choreographer  Edwaard Liang (for the Joffery Ballet) explaining the dance “Age of Innocence. “ which, Liang said, was inspired by the novels of Jane Austen.

For most people this probably wasn’t a very important quote, especially since the sprit of the created dance was to capture and illustrate the “expectation and uncertainty, where no one had any more than a few moments and a few whispers to find love.”  Every one of those ballroom, or bath house scenes in Austen applies here.

Everything, in this description, was right, even the title is right, it was an age of innocence.

Dance is a critical way to revive and perserve culture - Cambodia

Dance is a critical way to revive and perserve culture – Cambodia

However – since Jane Austen did not write The Age of Innocence, I stumbled as  I read the review of the dance piece. I was distracted from the merits of the work because I could not get past the fact that Jane Austen, the inspiring author for the work, did not write The  Age of Innocence.

I don’t believe that good choreographers need to possess flawless literary credentials, I just wanted a shout out for the originator of the title of this particular work.  We should strive to eliminate innocently created cognitive dissonance  in our work.  Yes, the theme, intent and dance is all aligned, I just think Edith Wharton deserved a shout out as well.  Jane Austen would agree.

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The Author Entrepreneurship Magazine Jan 2013

Just in case you haven’t checked this out –  Great articles for the Newbie and professional writers, and it’s free!

Writer’s Fun Zone » Blog Archive » The Author Entrepreneurship Magazine Jan 2013 issue is here: Get yours today!.

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Are we really all like Kids in a Candy Store?

I was in Sephora the other day and the phrase kid in a candy store came to me, not because that’s how I felt, (more like an overwhelmed middle-aged woman in a bewildering cosmetic emporium) but because  the cliche isn’t original  and often not as descriptive as other options – there must be better metaphors that express unbridled job and expectation than a child on the verge of a diabetic coma.

So I have a couple options  to consider.

She was a happy as a book club member armed with a year of reading and a 1,000 gift certificate to Powell’s Books.

He was as happy as an alcoholic at a free wine tasting

She was has happy as a Tech geek bearing forged credentials to CES

He was as happy as a backstage dresser for Victoria Secret lingerie show.

Happiness doesn’t always need to be compared to candy.

Happiness is, however,  easily linked to chocolate.

If the gambling, alcohol and sex isn't enough - sugar.

If the gambling, alcohol and sex isn’t enough – sugar.

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10th Annual Pitch-O-Rama

 

The Women’s National Book Association is offering their Pitch O Rama again this year, check it out:

Save the Date! for the 10th Annual Pitch-O-Rama: Meet the Agents, Editors, and Publishers | Women’s National Book Association San Francisco Chapter.

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Talk Verbally

Is Let’s Talk Verbally the new hook up line?

I overheard a recent phone conversation that began, “I thought we’d talk verbally”.   The word talk has becomes more fluid in its meaning  -we talk though iMessage, we talk on Facebook , we talk text. Live chat means casually writing your thoughts in real time.

Statue from Turkey

Talking out loud

 

Talking verbally is another activity entirely, as if it is more special, with more attention to the single listener.  Which makes me wonder about the implied commitment of a verbal chat. Does talking verbally mean you’ve elevated the relationship to the next level?

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Taxable Inspiration

Coins in the fountainThe Tax filing deadline  looms bigger and badder than any writing deadline, mostly because   the IRS is seems more ridged  than a mythical publisher.  That’s why tax season is so great for writers.  What is more compelling?  The fat folder of receipts and bills labeled Medical or working on the love scene between the barbarellaesque heroine and the Hobbit-like hero?

Exactly.

Sometimes having a terrible job, a necessary job, a critical job looming over you is the very inspiration you need to work on the book you’ve been putting off since the first draft was created during NaNoWriMo, or the book you resolved to write this year during a maudlin moment December 31st.

Consider the impetus of receipts, counting, math, as the best reason ever to work on a book.  There is nothing so compelling as the feeling you  are playing hooky.

So during the next hour, place a big yellow notebook over the fat medical file and write away.

You can thank the IRS in your acknowledgment page.

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Stuff for Writers at CES

I was able to wander around this year’s CES and found a couple of cool things for writers available this coming spring/summer:

Cool and inexpensive

Cool and inexpensive

Ctech bluetooth keyboard for the IPad  www.Applecase.net

Topazlas.com

Ad ons for the iPhoto to make cool effects etc.

IPro lens – iprolens.com  for lens for the iPhone camera

Panasonic also featured an  iphone lens system.

Panasonic also featured an iphone lens system.

Blackberry app

Create an app in ten minutes:  blackberryappgenerator.com

patchworks  patchworksonline.com  for cool covers for iPhones etc.

That’s all I could manage to pay attention to.

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